Synopsis: The big homecoming football game pits the South Park Cows against their arch rivals, the Middle Park Cowboys. Uncle Jimbo has convinced the rest of the town to bet heavily on his nephew, Stan the star quarterback, to beat the sixty point spread. But when Stan discovers his dog Sparky is gay, he becomes so confused he loses his will to play in the big game. A mysterious magical new friend, Big Gay Al, helps Stan understand the wonders of being gay and sends him back into the game.
Quotable Notables: "Gay people? Gay people are evil, right down to their cold black hearts which pump not blood like yours or mine, but rather a thick, vomitous oil that oozes through their rotten veins and clots in their pea-sized brains which becomes the cause of their Nazi-esque patterns of violent behavior. Do you understand?" - Mr. Garrison